Link Love

Category: Link Love

Link Love- What I’m Reading- 11/14/2014

Welcome to my latest Link Love post!

Link Love is simply  links about weddings, wedding vows, ceremonies, or Savannah, GA that caught my eye recently and I want to share with y’all. I aim to share stories, tips, and information that will interest you and help you plan your wedding or elopement!

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1. Here’s How People Really Feel About A Woman Taking Her Husband’s Last Name (HuffPostWeddings)

Fascinating survey data on what people think these days about changing your last name after a marriage. The trend shows that more women are electing to change their name compared to 20 years ago.

Personally, I never thought I’d change my last name before I got married though I did contemplate it about a week before our wedding and did some research. For me, it was simply impractical. I have published books under my name and there are too many women on Google with my first name and my husband’s last. It would have set my career back years, ultimately hurting how I contribute my family.

Data from the Huffington Post’s survey:

  • Taking on the husband’s name may be the norm in America — it’s estimated that only 8 percent of women keep their own name, down from the practice’s peak at 23 percent in the ’90s.
  • Internationally, sixty percent of the women polled legally changed their surname to their husband’s name, 11 percent of women kept their maiden name and only 8 percent opted to hyphenate or otherwise combine their maiden name with their husband’s name. (The remaining 23 percent of women have never married.)
  • 72 percent believe that children should take the father’s name. Only 1 percent of people thought that children should take the mother’s last name.

2. Sweeten up your wedding with a honey unity ceremony (Offbeat Bride) 

One of my most requested wedding ceremonies involves the sand ceremony. It is a very visual manifestation of two individual entities becoming one. I believe any unity ritual can be a great addition to a marriage ceremony and the idea of honey and beginning with sweetness is beautiful. Honey and bees also have many mythological roots in sacred femininity and fertility.

Til next time, y’all!

Tracy Brisson, Founder of Savannah Custom Weddings & Elopements

Link Love- What I’m Reading- 10/10/2014

Welcome to my latest Link Love post!

Link Love is simply three links about weddings, wedding vows, ceremonies, or Savannah, GA that caught my eye this week and I want to share with y’all. I aim to share stories, tips, and information that will interest you and help you plan your wedding or elopement!

It’s been a big week for marriage equality this week, but I’ve been working on a more complex blog post on this topic. Check the blog next week for information on how Monday’s Supreme Court ruling impacts LGBT individuals in the Georgia and the lowcountry.

Elopement, Marriage and Wedding News

1. 10 Things We All Need To Do Before We Say ‘I Do’ (Huff Post Weddings)

Love this piece. A college student wrote it, but I didn’t get half of the items on this list until I was in my mid-30s. It’s  a reminder that it’s always important to keep working on ourselves, and it’s never too late to make changed.

2. Getting Married is Easy (NY Times)

This is an extremely raw article from Elizabeth Wurtzel on finally falling in love at 46 after coming to a new understanding of herself. I feel like it’s an amazing companion to the HuffPost written by the emotionally secure college student

“Most people get sick and tired of being sick and tired by the time they are 28, which is the average age of marriage in the United States. I was more like 45. I guess I just love a parade. For a while before I met my fiancé, I was just alone. I indulged in boredom; I found it restful.

I cried profuse tears when my relationships failed, which was all the time. I wanted to love and be loved, but I behaved badly, and I had terrible taste. All the people who say they want to be married, but are not, are doing the same thing. All the statistics about how hard it is to find someone to love in this world — in this world of seven billion — do not account for the choices we make. We are the sum of our decisions: It’s not that luck has nothing to do with it, but rather, there is no such thing.

It is difficult to write a published book. It is difficult to get tenure in the astrophysics department at Berkeley. It is difficult to win the Heisman Trophy. But it is easy to get married: about 90 percent of Americans still do at some time in their lives. No self-help industry is required. People who want to get married stop behaving like fools for love and start acting intelligently. It is as simple as wanting to be happy.”

Real. Talk.

3. Do Men in Traditional Marriages Block Women’s Advancement? (Harvard Business Review)

In America, marriage is so much more than your relationship with your spouse. It impacts your relationship with the government, and how well you do your in your career.  It’s important to be aware of this as a woman.

Spoiler alert: the answer to the title of the article is yes. Men whose wives did not work were more likely to negatively rate female employees who were married than men with wives who did work. Think about that the next time you’re job searching and evaluating if your new boss is going to be good for your career.

Til next time, y’all!

Tracy Brisson, Founder of Savannah Custom Weddings & Elopements

Wedding Advice Links

Link Love- What I’m Reading- 10/3/2014

Welcome to my latest Link Love post!

Link Love is simply three links about weddings, wedding vows, ceremonies, or Savannah, GA that caught my eye this week and I want to share with y’all. I aim to share stories, tips, and information that will interest you and help you plan your wedding or elopement.

It’s been a few weeks, so I included a fourth link in today’s post!

Wedding Advice Links

1. How Attending a Gay Wedding Impacted My Straight Marriage (Huff Post Weddings)

This is a lovely read by Stephanie Fargo about attending her brother’s wedding to his husband, which would have been illegal a year ago in Illinois. I love how sincere she is about her feelings and how it helped remind her that marriage is a sacred event.

If you’ve read Link Love, you know that I have been using this space to track the court case that asks Georgia to introduce marriage equality for the GLBT community (here and here). The case still does not have a court date, but Georgia is one of 32 states that asked the Supreme Court to make a ruling on the federal constitutional issues surrounding gay marriage bans now.

It seems the state’s motivation is to relieve it of a costly legal fight defending the existing state ban if the court is just going to rule that the ban is unconstitutional at the federal level anyway. Remember that Georgia does not have to fight in court- they could choose to let it go like other states did.

It does not like the Supreme Court will be hearing the case this term, but could do decide to do so in the next. Experts say it doesn’t make sense for the Court to intervene now because it usually steps in where there are conflicting legal decisions they need to resolve. Currently, all the settled suits have come to the same conclusion: state bans on gay marriage violate the Fourteenth Amendment.

Let’s hope there is some movement soon on the Georgia case for marriage equality while these federal issue play out.

2. 11 Creative Ways To Photograph Your Wedding Rings (HuffPost Weddings)

I love these pictures, especially of the peach!

How to Photograph Rings

3. Our Readers Spill What They Wish They Knew On Their Big Day (The Broke-Ass Bride)

This is a great list of real, down-to-earth practical advice that goes beyond decorating and party favors and deals with how you plan your interactions with people on your wedding day. Here is one tip that I think all brides should consider as they map out the day.

“I wish I’d better planned a moment with my dad before he walked me down the aisle.”

Your day will go by so fast so think about all the people moments you want to include in the schedule as part of the planning process.

4. Woman Proposes to Girlfriend With Musical About Their Relationship (Jezebel)

A woman named Kriss wrote an entire musical for her proposal! The video is kind of long (22 minutes), but it is incredibly sweet.

What do you think of public proposals? Let me know on Facebook.

Til next time, y’all!

Tracy Brisson, Founder of Savannah Custom Weddings & Elopements

Link Love for Savannah Weddings

Link Love- What I’m Reading- 8/8/14

Welcome to this week’s Link Love post!

Link Love is simply three links about weddings, wedding vows, ceremonies, or Savannah, GA that caught my eye this week and I want to share with y’all. I aim to share stories, tips, and information that will interest you and help you plan your wedding or elopement.

Here are the links for the week of August 8, 2014.

Link Love for Savannah Weddings

 

1. How to Have a Feminist Wedding (The Guardian)

I found this article by Laura Bates on her struggle to have a feminist wedding to be pretty messy and disorganized, but some of the comments are amazing and they are the reason I am recommending it.

I agree with the most frequent response in the comments: stop overthinking it and just have the wedding you want.

One of my other problems with Bate’s piece is that it conflates marriage with weddings. Many of the elements of a traditional wedding ceremony are ‘patriarchal,’ but marriage isn’t inherently so. I also don’t understand why someone who has worked so much to help women empowerment cares so much about everyone else’s expectations. Remember, it’s your day!

2. Couple Goes High-Tech And Low Cost For Their Big Day (NPR)

This is a really interesting interview on how a couple used online startups to have their wedding in New York City for under $10K. Some of the startups they used are Airbnb, TaskRabbit, Instacart and Paperless Post. There are lots of wedding and elopement planning tips throughout the piece.

I wrote about how important FancyHands was to our own wedding planning. What sites have you used to help plan your wedding?

3. The Perfect Wedding Vows Are Different for Each Couple (Huffpost Weddings)

Wedding officiant Laurie Sue Brockway gives some advice on how to have a wedding ceremony that reflects you, whether you use traditional vows, create your own, or even decide not have any.

This reflection on vows is just so perfect:

“Sometimes they decide they don’t want to speak much in the ceremony, or they are afraid they will end up in a puddle of tears. Sometimes they just don’t want to include vows. That is totally fine too.

At the wedding altar, the love in your heart is easily conveyed by a look, a touch, a way of being. It doesn’t always have to be put into words.”

Til next time, y’all!

Tracy Brisson, Founder of Savannah Custom Weddings & Elopements

Link Love- What I’m Reading- 8/1/14

Welcome to this week’s Link Love post!

Link Love is simply three links about weddings, wedding vows, ceremonies, or Savannah, GA that caught my eye this week and I want to share with y’all. I aim to share stories, tips, and information that will interest you and help you plan your wedding or elopement.

Here are the links for the week of August 1, 2014.

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1. Looking for a no-fuss Washington wedding? Pop-up planners can make it happen (Washington Post)

Pop Wed Co. in Washington, DC offers flash-style, pop-up weddings in cool locations like museums and monuments. I love the concept of a spontaneous wedding in a beautiful location, but am not sure about this model.

First, many of their weddings are in places that strictly prohibit weddings, like the Smithsonian. I don’t think that’s ethical, plus the article tells the story about a wedding where they all got kicked out mid-ceremony. Not good! Second, for the price- $1,900 – you could have a unique ceremony, photographer, and small party with friends by making the right choices.

Where would you do a flash wedding in Savannah?

2. Charles Darwin’s List of the Pros and Cons of Marriage (Brain Pickings)

Here’s a list from Darwin’s journal when he was 29 and trying to decide whether he should marry Emma Wedgwood.

Charles Darwin Reasons for Marriage

Hmmm… Well, they did get married and have 10 kids so I guess he did find a wife better than having a dog?!?

3. Reflections on Nesting (French Christmas)

In my other life, I blog about all sorts of things that are relevant to people trying to live an intentional life, especially around their careers. One of the blogging campaigns I participate in annually is called Reverb, where you write about the previous year and your hopes for the new year to help you manifest them. Working on the prompts each year since 2010 has literally changed my life in amazing ways.

One of my fellow bloggers, Noel, wrote a reflection on her word for 2014, ‘nesting.’ Having moved in with my then-boyfriend/now-husband within the last 18 months and created a nest together, I found her writing extremely powerful and insightful. I read her post weeks ago, and I still haven’t been able to get it out of my head.

“It was not what I expected of nesting. It was not slow wandering in thrift shops, mulling over lavenders and violets in the afternoon half light while sipping tea and running fabric swatches through my fingers…

I built my home, but I did it with thunderous hammering and rolled up sleeves and fingers full of splinters.”

I love our nest, but the effort to create and maintain it would be more frequently described as bold and loud, than romantic and soft, and anyone who is ready to get married will understand this.

Here’s another take on nesting that I also love.

nesting

 

Til next time, y’all!

Tracy Brisson, Founder of Savannah Custom Weddings & Elopements

Savannah Custom Weddings & Elopements Links for July 25, 2014

Link Love- What I’m Reading- 7/25/14

Welcome to this week’s Link Love post!

Link Love is simply three links about weddings, wedding vows, ceremonies, or Savannah, GA that caught my eye this week and I want to share with y’all. I aim to share stories, tips, and information that will interest you and help you plan your wedding or elopement.

Here are the links for the week of July 25, 2014.

Savannah Custom Weddings & Elopements Links for July 25, 2014

1. Georgia Attorney General Olens says gay marriage ban is constitutional (GA Voice)

The last few weeks has been a flurry of activity around marriage equality in Georgia. Attorney General Sam Olens had until Monday, July 21, 2014 to respond to the April lawsuit that seeks to overturn the state ban on gay marriage based on a belief that it violates the U.S. constitution.

The state did respond, asking for the lawsuit to be dismissed. They did not need to do so. Per the article, attorneys general in Kentucky, Nevada, Virginia, California and Pennsylvania did not defend bans on same-sex marriage in their states when faced with similar lawsuits.

The link I have posted includes the response and opinions by constitutional experts. If you want to follow the fight for marriage equality in Georgia in even more detail, I recommend following Southerners for the Freedom to Marry on Facebook.

2. Stop the wedding hashtag trend before it’s too late (The Daily Dot)

Writer EJ Dickson wants you stop hashtagging your wedding on Twitter and Instagram! According to a survey by The Knot, 50% of couples now use a hashtag for their wedding.

I think this is a pretty cynical view of how people use social media, as well as a narrow view of the world. I had a hashtag for my wedding and as the bride, I didn’t use my phone,Twitter or Instagram all day. My guests posted pictures for me. It wasn’t to “broadcast every minute detail,” but to help people who couldn’t be there, including sick family members, be a part of it. Of course, it was also helpful to be able to grab all the pictures from other people’s accounts later for my own album.

Remember, it’s your wedding- do what works for you!

3. She wanted to be a flower girl, but she needed a wedding (WSAV)

This story of Brooklyn’s four-year old Anabelle Earl filled me up with love.

Anabelle Earl flower girl

“Back in April, Kim Earl had taken [her daughter] Annabelle to Washington, D.C., where they visited Yoko Ono’s “Wishing Tree” in a Smithsonian sculpture garden. Annabelle walked up to it and whispered her heart’s desire.

“Then she said to me, ‘Can I tell you what I wished for?’ I said of course and she said, ‘I wished for a rainbow unicorn for a pet, a real one,'” her mother recalled.

“I said, ‘Sweetie, those aren’t real. You can’t have that.’ And she was devastated.”

Some other options were discussed and Annabelle decided that if she couldn’t have a rainbow unicorn she would like to be a flower girl.

There was only one problem.

“We don’t have anyone in our circle close to being married,” her mother said.”

Her mom took her to New York’s city hall to see if an eloping couple could use Anabelle to brighten up their ceremony. She got her wish and a newly married couple now has an amazing new life-long friend.

Til next time, y’all!

Tracy Brisson, Founder of Savannah Custom Weddings & Elopements

 

Links on wedding news, wedding vows, wedding ceremonies, Savannah GA

Link Love- What I’m Reading-7/4/14

Welcome to this week’s Link Love post!

Link Love is simply three links about weddings, wedding vows, ceremonies, or Savannah, GA that caught my eye this week and I want to share with y’all. I aim to share stories, tips, and information that will interest you and help you plan your wedding or elopement.

Here are the links for the week of July 4, 2014.

Links on wedding news, wedding vows, wedding ceremonies, Savannah GA

1. These Groomsmen Made Guests Go Crazy with a Choreographed Backstreet Boys Dance (Huff Post Weddings)

This Los Angeles based groom and his wedding party surprised his bride with a choreographed dance to the Backstreet Boys “I Want It That Way” and other songs (if you can hear them past the screaming). I’m a huge boy band fan so I love it! I did stop at reading there were 9 groomsmen!?! That must have taken some practice- hopefully the bachelor party was not one continuous rehearsal. 

2. U.S. Presbyterian Church Votes to Allow Same-Sex Marriage Ceremonies (Gawker)

In late June, the largest Presbyterian denomination in the U.S. voted to allow the clergy to perform same-sex marriage ceremonies in the states where gay marriage is recognized. This is a big move at the same time that state constitutional amendments that ban gay marriage are being thrown out in federal courts across the nation (Kentucky this week, Indiana and Utah last week).

If you want to keep up with the challenge to Georgia’s constitutional amendment that bans gay marriage, follow The Lambda Legal Fund’s progress. They filed suit on April 22, 2104. I’ll be honored to do my part as a wedding officiant when marriage equality becomes official in our great state!

3. KATIE COURIC AND JOHN MOLNER – Making Headlines With Their Vows (New York Times)

Katie Couric was the keynote speaker at a conference I attended in 2012 and she made me a fan by being eloquent, funny, and strong (her show did not reel me in though and I am not shocked it was cancelled). I love this whole article about her non-traditional wedding ceremony that was focused on exactly what was important to her and her husband even though they had the financial resources to have a mega-ceremony. She also let her husband do most of the planning- even picking her dress.

According to Katie,  “I’ve had such a full plate, and it’s going to be a small, intimate wedding, so I don’t feel that much pressure, and luckily I have a great fiancé who’s very decisive and also involved in the planning. We just want it to be an incredibly special time for our families and friends.”

She does look gorgeous!

‘Til next time, y’all!

Tracy Brisson, Founder of Savannah Custom Weddings & Elopements